WHAT TIME IS YOUR APPOINTMENT?

My times are in Your hands. Psalm 31:15

Much of our time over the last 3 months has been spent scheduling appointments—doctor’s appointments, physical therapy appointments, ALS clinic appointments, and various other medical appointments. Then there is the time we have spent going to all of these appointments. We have such a full schedule, that we are always checking our calendar to make sure that we do not miss any of these very important appointments.

But, we are not the only ones with full schedules. Most of us are busier than we have ever been, spending our days living by the calendar. Everyone seems to have a Day-Timer, Palm Pilot, Blackberry or at least the old fashioned paper calendar, so they can schedule and keep track of all their important appointments.

There is another appointment we also need to keep, though it isn’t written on our calendars—our own death. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Yeah, it does us, too! No one likes to think about death or talk about it, especially our own, yet the Bible speaks of our death as if it was an appointment that we all must keep; It is appointed to man, once to die and then the judgment. Hebrews 9:27. Death is also described as a “purpose under heaven”; To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a.

Let me ask you an honest question? If death is a purpose under heaven and an appointment we all must keep, why are we so surprised when someone we know dies? Are we shocked because they were too young or too healthy or we feel that they were robbed of the chance to really live? Of course, we feel sad for the loss, especially if it is someone we love. Maybe I am the only one that thinks this way, but isn’t there, also, a measure of curiosity? Don’t we want to know the details about what happened? Maybe this is why many of us love to read about the sufferings of Job in the Bible, or someone’s book, or blog. If I can observe from a distance someone else’s pain, suffering, or death, maybe it won’t touch me or anyone close to me; but for us and for most other people, it did, and it will.

Isn’t it weird to think about your own death? Sometimes, I’m not sure we believe it is really going to happen to us. Death may be an ‘appointment’ and a ‘purpose under heaven’, but most of us spend very little time thinking about it seriously or preparing ourselves for it.

A lot of people say that they would like to die quickly or hope that they will die peacefully in their sleep. I’m not sure what I think is worse, knowing in advance I am going to die or dying suddenly; without warning. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. The advantage to not knowing is obvious; there is no fear of anticipation; no dread of impending loss. The disadvantages are many—we might be leaving unfinished business that our loved one’s must take care of, wills that were never prepared, words never spoken, feelings never shared, broken relationships not repaired, goals and dreams never accomplished.

Back when we lost our son tragically and unexpectedly 10 years ago, I thought that it was much harder to lose someone you love suddenly. We were left with so many regrets; not being able to say good-bye; no chance for one last “I love you”. Though losing someone you love is always hard, whether it is expected or unexpected, I may be changing my opinion about which is harder!

Expecting death is a very different situation. Gene says that the good thing about knowing he will die is that he can get ready for it, both practically and spiritually. When he was younger, there were a number of things Gene wanted to be able to do in his life. He always wanted to own a Model A car and to be able to water ski still at 60 years old, to have another dog so he could take it on long walks; goals he will never achieve. But his sights are set much higher now—“no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9. He really doesn’t feel a great need to go and do a bunch of exciting things to feel complete, really he cares more about me and our family and showing others how to be ready for their “appointment”, than he does about fulfilling personal dreams.

When I think about losing Gene, it is near impossible for me to imagine that he could be leaving us. When we talk about his dying, it seems so unreal to me; like a bad dream. How can the love of my life and the father of my children leave? But, Gene has been teaching me much about how to face death and to really live life. We have learned along the way that the goal of this life isn’t striving to achieve a bunch of earthly dreams. The quality and success of life is not measured by how much we have achieved, or how much money we have made, or how many exciting things we have done. A life well lived will be measured by being able to say, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

Expected or unexpected to us, we all have an appointment with death to keep. In fact, some of us may die before Gene does. Our death may not be on our calendar, but it is on God’s. When our son died, we had many people say to us that he died before his time. Even in this current experience, people have commented that Gene is too young for this to be happening. A scripture that reassured us that our son did not die one moment before “his time” says, All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16b.
God has a book with each of our names written in it. Beside our name is the day and time of our earthly death. No one will die earlier or later than God expected, He is never surprised or taken off guard by death. Whether we are ready or not, expecting or unsuspecting, we will all arrive on time for the appointment.

Looking forward to sharing with you again. Until the next time...

Gene and Michele