BUMPS ALONG THE WAY

The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33:4

Well, I don't even know where to begin; it has been a very busy 72 hours. We have encountered a few rough patches along the way. I wanted to write last night, but everything was too overwhelming yesterday. Gene has had a few various obstacles in the journey to go back home; some have been minor and annoying and others more serious--

First, we were told and we planned that Gene would only be in the hospital a few days before going home. We were informed on the second day that home ventilator companies require a 2 week stay in an acute rehabilitation hospital. This was quite a blow and it was really upsetting to Gene, who thought he would be home by the weekend. The purpose of the rehab hospital is to get Gene and everyone involved in his care comfortable and familiar with his home ventilator and to train us in using the equipment and for caring for Gene. He will also be working with a speech therapist who will train him in effective use of his speaking valve, a respiratory therapist who will instruct us in the use of our new portable home ventilator, and physical/occupational therapy will be helping us make the transition back home with confidence--traches and vents can be a little intimidating for most of us.

The second setback was a complication from Gene's feeding tube surgery. His digestive tract quit working and he was in excruciating pain. I'll spare you the details, but we are back in business again. Because it caused a setback, they need to rest his tummy before trying to feed him through his new tube, which is called a g-j tube. He hasn't had any nutrition since Monday.

Third, Gene also developed more mucous secretions that caused some breathing obstructions, which leads to a sense of panic and fear. Because of this and because of his tummy problems, it was decided to put off using the Passey Muir valve for a day, so that Gene could rest.

Friday morning Gene felt he just had about all he could take and he felt very discouraged. He has been put through a tremendous amount physically since Tuesday. The one bright spot of the day came when the chaplain of the hospital, who happens to be one of our pastors at church and a good friend of Gene's, came for a visit. He read to us from Mattie Stepanek's book "Heartsongs". I have heard some of these poems before, but was newly touched by the insights of this little boy that suffered greatly in his very short life. We received encouragement through the depth of wisdom as we listened with fresh ears to the words of Mattie, who was also afflicted with one of the Muscular Dystrophies.

We also had a plan to use the Passey Muir valve, but unfortunately our second experience was not very successful. The respiratory therapist was not as adept at setting the correct settings on the ventilator as our first therapist was and as a result, Gene had a very uncomfortable forceful flow of air every time he exhaled. This force of air is very uncomfortable and caused Gene to feel like he was not getting enough air to breathe. After a couple of hours, he was overly exhausted and it was decided to remove the valve and let him rest.

Today is Saturday. We had hopes of trying the Passey Muir valve today, but Gene was unable to clear enough secretions that would allow enough air to pass around the valve for effective speech. The vocal cords must have a flow of air over them or sound cannot be made.

I also had a plan to drive down to San Diego today with my daughter to visit 2 different rehab hospitals, to see which one would be best suited for Gene. While we were at the first facility, I received a call informing me that Gene was having a rapid heart beat and that he had a low grade fever. The first thing the doctors fear is a possible blood clot, due to his immobility. Gene had an ultrasound on both legs, which was negative. Because it was negative, they had to do a CAT scan to make sure he did not have a pulmonary embolism--he doesn't. He also had an EKG which showed some form of tachycardia, so they performed many tests to make sure it wasn't a heart attack or heart failure--it was not. They did find some concerns with his lungs, which leads them to believe he might possibly have an infection. They have started him on 2 antibiotics, just in case. His fever is down and he is now resting comfortably.

Because of all the setbacks, they have put off trying to feed him through his feeding tube until things settle down. We pray that will be tomorrow.

As of right now, we think that on Monday or Tuesday he will be transported to one of the rehab hospitals for one-two weeks. I will keep you posted.

Why do you complain to Him that He answers none of man's words? For God does speak--now one way, now another--though man may not perceive it.

Job 33:13-14

How is Gene?

"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Hi Everyone,

I know that many people are wondering how Gene is and I have received too many emails to be able to answer each one individually; please forgive the impersonal nature with which I am giving information. We are so appreciative of your emails, prayers, cards, encouragement and your sincere concern. This is the first time I have been able to get on the Internet since Gene's surgery. I now have Internet access in Gene's ICU room and while he is resting quietly, I thought I should write a quick entry to let everyone know how he is doing.

Day #1: Tuesday morning we arrived early at the hospital and of course Gene was joking with his nurses as we waited for his surgery. The anticipation was overwhelming and stressful. Our daughter accompanied us and a couple of fantastic friends were here waiting here for us. We were also greeted in the hall by a couple of our pastors and it was such an encouragement to see them and to have them pray for Gene.

Gene came through the surgery well. When Katy and I were escorted into the ICU to see Gene minutes after the surgery, he had a huge grin on his face and we all shed a few tears. He was very peaceful and the ventilator was doing its job. They said he would sleep alot the first day; he was wide awake the whole day! The first day wasn't so bad.

Day #2: Learning to adjust to a tube in your neck that is attached to your source of breath is a very big adjustment for someone to make. I will never look at anyone that has a trache the same. The second day was a bit rougher than the first. I am sure that you do not want to hear all the details about secretions and suctioning and stuff like that, but it is a different experience to say the least.

On the second morning Gene was scheduled for what is called a PEG tube. A PEG tube is feeding tube that is inserted through an endoscopic procedure, however, they were unable to visualize the correct position and could not continue. So they had to put it off until the next day and use a different procedure. Most ALS patients end up needing a feeding tube because they are no longer able to swallow safely or, as is the case with Gene, his arms are too weak to bring food up to his mouth and he doesn't eat enough to maintain adequate nutrition. He will still be able to eat food with the trache, but he needs an additional nutritional source.

A very bright spot in the day was when the Speech Pathologist came to test Gene's ability to swallow and to teach him how to use a Passey-Muir valve, a special valve attached to his trache so that he could still talk. It worked and in fact the quality of his voice was much better than everyone anticipated! It was fun to have our kids come to visit and for Gene to be able to actually talk to them--they were amazed! He sounds a little bit like Christopher Reeve, but it is still Gene's wonderful voice!

Day #3 Last night wasn't such a great night. We haven't slept much and Gene was bothered by the increase in secretions and had a couple of bouts of difficulty--feeling like he was choking and not able to breathe. Of course, you can imagine the sense of anxiety and panic that it must feel like to depend on a machine for your breathing. They also had put a tube into his nose that travels down into his stomach to prepare him for the next feeding tube procedure. Not only does Gene have a trache tube in his throat, but a naso-gastric tube as well; not much fun. But, the feeding tube procedure was successful today! Gene has had moderate pain from the feeding tube site and hardly any pain from the trache. They have moved him onto a special bed that rotates the pressure on his body because he is unable to change positions--this has been helpful today.

Gene will be in the ICU for a few more days and we are making the plans for what will happen when he is discharged, when I have more information I will write again. Unfortunately, in the ICU visitors are limited to immediate family and pastors, however, it is such an encouragement to Gene when I tell him about everyone that has sent their love and prayers.

Until next time...

All our love,

Michele and Gene

UPDATE...

Oliver bringing Grandpa flowers!

Hi Everyone,



We are taking a break from our usual format of blogging because we want to post a quick update and to let all of you know what is happening in our lives. The past few weeks have been very busy and challenging for us. Gene's breathing capacity has diminished significantly and to make a long story short, we have decided to have a tracheotomy. We have chosen a surgeon and the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, December 9th. The trache will allow Gene to be completely supported by the ventilator; he will no longer have to labor for each breath. This will be a good thing, because Gene expends a great amount of energy with every breath, even though he is using non-invasive ventilation 24/7. He will be in the hospital for a few days so that he can be observed and so that I can learn how to care for his trache and vent. We will also be lining up nursing care that will begin helping us in our home. Please pray for us; pray especially that Gene recovers quickly and that he will be protected from infection. Pray that we learn to adjust to this big change in our lives. Gene and I strongly believe in the sovereignty and providence of a loving God and we rejoice in Him, even in the midst of our affliction.



On another note, Gene has been seeing a physical therapist that comes to our home and works with Gene. This has been very beneficial and is helping Gene to maintain what strength he has and to actually see some improvement in the muscles that still function.

This is the day the LORD has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Psalm 118:22

We will keep you posted!

Gene and Michele

THE THREE THINGS

Thomas Oliver McCain

July 18, 1979-November 19, 1998

Time flies. Even though it has been ten whole years, I can remember everything about that day, right down to the smallest of details. I remember what the weather was like, I know what I wore, what I ate, what I did, who I talked to, I even remember the music that was on the radio, and I can still remember every word of the phone call that brought the news about Tommy’s accident; I remember everything. It is hard to believe that it has been ten years today. Ten years is a long time, but November 19, 1998 seems like it was yesterday.

Today our family marks 10 years since our son Tommy was killed in a terrible accident. I have often wondered how we might commemorate the 10th anniversary of Tommy’s death. I thought that, somehow, today should be made special; after all it has been one decade. We still miss Tommy incredibly. So many things have changed in 10 years. Never could I have imagined that Gene would have ALS, or that I would be writing a blog entry to honor Tommy; instead of making the day special.

I’m not sure if it is true, but it is said that losing a child is one of the most painful experiences a person can have. I do know, however, that after a few agonizing weeks of paralyzing grief, I knew that Tommy would be the last person who would want me so emotionally crippled with sorrow. After all, I still had a family to care for and responsibilities to take care of; life has a way of marching on, no matter how bad you hurt. I knew that Tommy would want me to have an outlook from God’s perspective of eternity, and so I imagined what Tommy might say to me if he could come back from heaven just long enough to encourage my grieving heart. Three things immediately came to my mind in vivid detail. In the 10 years since Tommy’s death, I have not forgotten the three things. They have been a catalyst in helping me to be able to continue on in life without caving in completely, and they have helped me through many far less challenging times since then. Now in the face of the darkest of all trials, Tommy’s words once more are reminding me to maintain a perspective that looks at our situation, not with eyes of flesh, but from the edge of eternity. And so today November 19, 2008, in Tommy’s honor and in his precious memory, I would like to share the “three things” with all of you.

In my mind, I could clearly picture Tommy coming to me and giving me a great big hug and saying, “Mom don’t be sad, it’s all going to be okay; you will like the end of the story”. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 is probably the most loved promise in the entire Bible. It reminds me that God’s ways are very different than mine. In the book of Genesis, Joseph’s brothers hated him so much they made a plan to sell him into slavery. When Joseph is finally reunited with his brothers and they cry to him for forgiveness, Joseph tells them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done”…Genesis 50:20. The brothers may have thought they were in charge of their plan to get rid of their brother, but God intended to work out His own plan. God always has a plan and His plans are always good and loving. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Psalm 33:10,11

The second thing I imagined that Tommy would have said to me was, “Mom, life on this earth is very brief, make the most of every opportunity God gives.” Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Ephesians 5:16 17 If I live with my eyes fixed only on this life and the cares and circumstances that I see, I will miss seeing them from God’s perspective. God gives to each of us opportunities to bring Him honor. The deep lessons of suffering and pain are learned only in this life and are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17). Even suffering and affliction are opportunities to bless God, bless others, and to do good. May I not be so consumed with my own pain that I miss seeing the pain in the lives of others.

The third thing I imagined Tommy saying to me was, “Mom, heaven is beyond anything you could ever imagine!” I can’t begin to imagine what the glories of heaven will be like; we will never exhaust the wonders of heaven, or grow tired of being there. Heaven will be a place of reuniting with Tommy and others that I love, but what will make heaven be greater than anything I could ever imagine is, God Himself; God dwells there. Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:3-4

Second only to God and His word, Tommy has taught me more about living with an eternal perspective than anyone else; looking at life from the perspective of God’s incomprehensible plan, instead of through my own finite and simple mind.

In the back of Tommy’s Bible is a poem that he wrote toward the end of his brief life. Though his theology is not perfect, Tommy had a grasp on eternity that far exceeded his 19 years.

MY FATHER

He is grace full

He is loving no matter what I do

He has great mercy I cannot explain

His way is righteousness, truth, and forgiveness

He lives forever

My Father loves me so much that He died on the cross to pay for my soul.

My Father loves me and you

Please do not forget or you might miss Him

He is coming real soon.

Yes, Tommy, He is grace full; full of grace and truth. Thank you, Tommy, for helping us to see with an eternal perspective the grace that is so freely available to all of us. That is something we would like to share about next time.

Until then...

Thinking of Tommy,

Gene and Michele

A VOICE IN SUFFERING...

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1,2

It is a fearful privilege knowing that people actually read our blog and are even asking others to read it, as well. Though it is an honor that you would care to be part of our journey, it also feels like a tremendous responsibility to us, and we do not it take lightly. We want the things we write about here to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those that check to see what is happening to us. We want the words we say to be thought provoking, not unhelpful or hurtful; certainly not tinged by an attitude of hypocrisy or self-righteousness. There is a weight of seriousness upon our life right now. It seems as though we have been granted a unique opportunity to be a voice in the lives of others in the midst of our suffering. Though there is a great inadequacy within us, we want to express the thoughts and intents of our heart. And so today, we will make our attempt to be as authentic and as transparent as we know how to be. We would like to share with you some of our low points; the not so good thoughts and feelings we have had up until now.

We have been under some intense and stressful circumstances lately. I have to admit that this whole ALS thing has been a lot harder than I ever could have imagined. Right from the beginning, I had read about the progression of the disease and what was to be expected along the way. Intellectually, I knew what was going to slowly happen, but actually living through it has been completely different. Now that it is happening, and not so slowly I might add, it is like trying to stay ahead of an enormous tsunami—it’s just too big to keep out in front of without being overwhelmed by its powerful force. Gene’s condition continues to deteriorate. At this time, Gene is confined to his wheelchair, his recliner, or his bed. He can do very little to care for himself. The lack of mobility is very hard on his body, and he is uncomfortable often. Everyday his weakness is more pronounced, including his diaphragm.

These past few weeks have been hard for us. We have never been under as much stress as we are right now; far beyond my own ability to endure. With frayed emotions, I have been surprised by my own inability at times to cope with the challenges and to hold it together. Nothing about any of this has gone smoothly or easily; everything has had a struggle attached to it. There have been difficult obstacles and challenges to face every day; some seem insurmountable. Emotional fatigue has worn heavily on my ability to tolerate frustrating situations. I get so frustrated and angry with some of the agencies that we deal with when things don’t go right, which is often. I lose my patience easily when a piece of equipment doesn’t work the way it is supposed to; nearly, every day. I want to scream when someone parks in the handicap space, but they have no handicap sticker displayed on their car and there is nowhere else for us to park. I feel so frustrated when I am not physically strong enough to help Gene do something he wants or needs to do. I am completely overwhelmed at times when we have so much that needs to get done in a day’s time, and I can’t possibly get it all done. I feel extreme sadness when I know how hard it is for Gene to sit passively by, unable to help or participate in his own care. I feel resentful and my heart is grieved because we can’t do the things we used to do together. I feel angry that ALS is robbing me of my husband.

We have also had a number of disappointments that have put me over the edge and have left us feeling sad and discouraged. The relentlessness of Gene’s ALS and the demands of the situation have broken me. I admit ALS has brought out the very worst in me. I am ashamed sometimes at my reactions, and I have been surprised by the darkness of my feelings.

I can only risk sharing with you my true feelings of frustration, resentments, and the depths of pain and despair because I don’t believe I am unique. Everyone, at some point, has come up to the edge where it feels like we cannot take it any more. Whether we are willing to admit it out loud, or we keep our feelings deep inside, God is fully aware of the true condition in our hearts. We cannot fool Him.

Sometimes when we are experiencing the deep depths of pain, we find it challenging to navigate through the darkness. Though we see through a glass darkly, we can hear from the voices of those that have suffered before us. God has provided in His word the voices of many that have suffered far deeper despair than I have. Though I am very encouraged by a number of others, I have rekindled a friendship and have found a suffering companion in the Book of JOB. In his deep suffering Job has given voice to my suffering.

All that Job possessed on this earth was suddenly taken away from him, including his beloved children. But, if that were not enough Job is tested again to the limits of his human capacity when he is once more struck; this time in his own body. Job becomes covered in painful sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet; it is more than he can take. In all of Job’s losses he did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. But, what I appreciate most about Job is his honestly in sharing his feelings of hopelessness. Surrounded by the darkness of his desperate situation, Job plummets into a pit of despair. Blinded by the immensity of his pain Job cries out, “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales!” Job 6:1.

After Job’s long and painful discourse, God finally answers Job out of the storm. Though God never gives Job an explanation to his very painful circumstances, Job confesses he spoke of things too great for him to understand and things too wonderful for him to know. Even before Job’s life is ever restored to “normal”, he is able to persevere in suffering “because he saw him who is invisible” Hebrews 11:27.

The strain and the stress of a protracted trial can cause us to lose sight of our vision of the invisible. Though God seems to hide Himself at times and our circumstances do not change, our hope is restored when we are able to see Him who is invisible.

Gaining an eternal perspective in the midst of deep pain is something we would like to share with you about the next time. But, until next time I will gain my footing again; God is faithful. We are fixing our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18 …This is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:2

Until then,
Gene and Michele

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:11

A 'Dream' Come True!

An Amazing Group of Friends and Family

Our Amazing Daughter, Katy

Our Banner Proudly Waving!

Gene's Special Interview

Oliver hitching a ride with Grandpa

Just enjoying the scenery

Here we come!

So Many Great Friends!

"Faster Oliver, we are almost there!"

"What's everyone looking at?"

Oliver chill'in with the team!

"What's for lunch?"

Thank you to everyone that made GENE'S DREAM TEAM a ‘Dream’ come true! Sunday, October 19th was a beautiful day at the De Anza Cove in San Diego! It was a beautiful day because 51 of our family and friends came to support Gene and participate with us in the 7th annual Walk to Defeat ALS. There were many others that were not able to be there, but also showed their support with kind well wishes and their generous donations on behalf of Gene's Dream Team; we thank them as well! I don't know what the final dollar figure for our team is, but it cannot compare to the great reward of knowing that we are loved and cared for by such wonderful people. Words of gratitude are insufficient to say thank you to everyone that participated!

How wonderful it was to spend time together with good friends and our dear family and to see those friends and family that we do not get to see on a regular basis. We are especially thankful to our wonderful kids who helped us with all the little details and practicalities; they have been a great source of encouragement to us every step of the way. Even our 15 month old grandson Oliver got into the act! He enjoyed riding with grandpa on his wheelchair and afterward sitting on any empty beach chair that he could find!

Gene was also unexpectedly interviewed by CBS affiliate KFMB TV News 8. Unfortunately, we did not see it aired, but we have heard that it was on the 6:30 PM broadcast. We are working on receiving a copy of it and if there is anyway that we can put a link to it, we will do so. I was so proud of Gene as he spoke quite eloquently words from his heart about the disease of ALS, his friends and family that were there, his sense of being part of something much bigger than himself, and his gratefulness to his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

All together, there were about 2000 people that participated in yesterday’s Walk to Defeat ALS. During the walk it was such an encouragement to see all the various walk teams supporting their own friends and family that are afflicted with ALS. Many people with ALS were able to participate with their teams using their wheelchairs, scooters and walkers; it was sad and encouraging at the same time to see others in various stages of the disease. There were, also, those that were walking in memory of a loved one that had ALS and have since died.

It is hard to imagine that only 9 months ago ALS was not something we ever gave thought to, because we did not know anything about it; now it has changed our whole world. ALS has brought out the best and the worst in us; that is something we would like to share about with you next time. Not only that, ALS has given us the opportunity to be reminded how very important it is to be connected to a community of family and friends, sharing our lives together and caring for one another.

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:10

With loving gratitude,

Gene and Michele

THE POWER OF GOD AND THE PURPOSE OF PAIN

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

It’s a very demoralizing position to find yourself in when you are no longer able to take care of yourself. Not being able to do the simplest of tasks is very frustrating, and it is very humbling having to rely on others for everything you need. At this stage in Gene’s disease, we are sensing the cruel power of ALS. His mobility is extremely limited and getting worse day by day. We just completed a renovation to our shower to make it handicap accessible; it actually turned out quite beautiful. We are using a special chair that rolls into the shower, and I am bathing, drying, and dressing Gene. What a hilarious sight it is sometimes—it isn’t easy for a small woman to physically care for a much bigger man. Gene says I scrub him so hard that I am not only removing this year’s tan, but last years too! We have, also, just bought an extra-long twin Tempur-Pedic adjustable bed for Gene. The foot and head of his bed can be raised and lowered with a touch of a button, and it even has a vibrating massage feature; however, getting him into and out of bed is a major production. You should see us trying to position him just right on the mattress—if it wasn't so sad, it would be funny, and sometimes we do laugh and cry at the same time. He is positioned right beside our king size bed so that I can be near him when he needs something in the middle of the night, but we miss sleeping together in the same bed. We have gotten a brand new electric lift that will help me to be able to transfer Gene from bed to wheelchair when he is unable to assist me with transfers, or if he falls again. Our room is looking more and more like a hospital room than a romantic master bedroom. We are thankful, though, for the tools and equipment that are helping us accomplish the tasks of daily life. But, this is only our little corner of suffering, we know that you have your own, too; everyone does.

Suffering is universal. Suffering happens to young and old, rich or poor, atheist and God-fearing alike. Suffering is no respecter of persons, power, privilege, or position—it will visit everyone at some point, no matter who you are. No one needs to be convinced that there is a great deal of pain and horrible suffering in this world. If God is supposed to be a God of love, why would He allow people to experience so much pain and suffering? Why does He allow famines, floods, fires, earthquakes, and horrific accidents? Why would He allow us to suffer terrible diseases? If God is so powerful, why does he not just eliminate suffering all together? Does He lack the power or the compassion to overcome pain, suffering, and all the evils of this life? These are not new questions and there are no simple or easy answers.

Throughout time and history philosophers, theologians, and other great minds have sought to give their explanations. Gene and I are certainly no experts in the fields of philosophy or theology and we don’t pretend to be great thinkers. The only thing that qualifies us to speak on this subject is that we have suffered somewhat in our lives and we have looked to God’s Word for answers. We understand that there are many of you that read our blog who may not embrace what we believe, but we welcome you here anyway. We, also, know that some of you are experiencing very painful times in your lives. We are very aware that you hurt, and we would very much like to share with you what has allowed us to keep going and not just to keep going, but to have joy in our hearts despite the suffering that ALS is causing us.

Losing a precious son in a terrible accident 10 years ago has been a training ground for our suffering. We never imagined that we would ever be faced with anything more painful than the death of a child, but here we are! Our deepest desire is that we might offer to you a door of hope and maybe give you something of eternal significance that will make a difference in your life.

When suffering comes to us, it is very easy for us to believe that God does not love us, or that He does not care about us. It is normal to wonder if He is even able to prevent our suffering; is He really in control. But, the truth is, if God were not able to prevent the suffering that has befallen us, then He would not be a God who is very powerful, He would not be a God that is trustworthy. Whatever suffering that has happened to us, would have been more powerful than God himself.

But, God is in control over His creation and He is completely trustworthy. He is in control of our lives, right down to the smallest of details; right down to you and your life, to your pain and your suffering. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-30. This truth gives Gene and me a great deal of comfort and hope. If our pain and suffering have no purpose, then our existence in this life is pointless. But He does see us, He knows us, and He is caring for us.

So then, why suffering? Why did God choose suffering to fulfill His plan? The Bible is a thick book, and it gives many reasons and purposes why God allows suffering, pain and calamities. In our search to find God’s answer to this question, we believe that there is one explanation that stands forth as the most important reason and that is, that we would learn to place our hope, not in this temporary life, but in the great value and worth of Jesus Christ.

There are matters of eternal significance that God desires to reveal to us, but often we are too busy being busy with our own lives that we do not hear Him. In his book, “The Problem of Pain”, C.S. Lewis said that "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." We love this life; we love our comforts, our toys, our hobbies, our jobs, our routines, our own stuff, our own self. But, this life is but a brief moment; we are like the grass that withers in the heat of the day and then we are gone. A little disease like ALS will remind you that this is true. We, sometimes, act like this life is all there is; that we will be here forever. There are some things that are much too important to be whispered and God must use a trumpet blast to get our attention. He wants for us to lighten our grip on this life that is only a momentary existence, and to value Him as our highest treasure. He wants us to understand that His loving-kindness is better than life itself.

Even the apostle Paul experienced the shout of God in 1 Corinthians 1:8-9 when Paul said, “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”

God’s value of suffering is much different than ours. For the display of His own great glory, God the Father did not even spare the suffering of His own Son so that we might know His love and salvation that far outweighs any momentary discomfort we experience in this life—What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:31-32

If and when you experience great and painful suffering, Gene and I would like to be a voice that says to you, “God is for you and not against you. He has designed your suffering, because He loves you, to help you release your grip on the temporary hopes of this life so that you might, instead, rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, through Jesus Christ”.

Until next time…

…we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

Romans 5:1-5

To the praise of His glorious grace,

Gene and Michele